Fucking Brilliant Gifts for the Girl Who Loves to Swear

I was born and raised in the South; my parents would be horrified if they realized how much I swear. I could blame New York and San Francisco for transforming me into the potty-mouthed lady typing these words, but—if I’m being honest—I’ve been casually cursing since middle school. And, after working for a few badass girl-bosses who weren’t afraid to drop an F-bomb during a meeting, my fate was sealed. In that zero-fucks-given spirit, I’ve rounded up an assortment of gifts that will make any chick who swears like a sailor flip her shit.

Last year, I fully committed to a life of foul language and bought delicate gold script “Fuck It” rings, sized to fit my middle finger. I splurged on this pricier version from Amarilo Jewelry in Los Angeles, but you can find a similar look on Etsy for as little as $10. Friends, co-workers, and complete strangers freak out over these rings, so clearly I’m not the only one who enjoys salty language.

I spotted Tori, one of the rockstar Revolutions instructors at Uforia Studios, wearing this tank, and I’ve been completely obsessed ever since. Ironic swearing in a gym-friendly package: what’s not to love?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then surely a pair of middle-finger studs are worth two thousand. I stumbled upon these “FU” studs at Fiat Lux and had a full-on existential crisis debating whether I needed them or just really wanted them. If you don’t dig stud earrings, you can also buy this design as a pendant necklace. 

Maybe I've watched too much Portlandia, but I like the idea of putting a bird on it. In this case, the "it" we're talking about is a house key. Is $12 a downright bonkers price for a key depicting a hand flipping the bird? You betcha. But think of it this way: it's a hella cheap gift that will make someone's day.

While touring Le Tote’s San Francisco office for an article I was writing, I noticed this large print framed in the corner. It captures the city’s entrepreneurial/startup vibe, and it’s perfectly priced for gifting. If you want to class it up without blowing your holiday budget, check Cheap Pete’s on Geary for a cute frame.

I blame the open office floor plan trend for killing the desk nameplate trend. Maybe I don’t get out enough, but I only see old school nameplates these days at banks. For someone in an open-minded office environment, I can’t imagine a better way to say “don’t try my patience” than this retro-style piece.

Western Editions, the Emeryville-based letterpress printshop, proudly proclaims that it makes "cute shit", and these cards are no exception. Each of the minimalist designs features a different rap lyric, including options without swear words. But if you're going to give someone a rap card, you should make it count, right?